In My Own Words

Health Care Affairs Journal
Volume 1, Issue 1
Newsletter Date: 5/1/2010

Don't Judge

I once ate something that I originally thought was poop. Don’t judge & I’ll give you time to get your gag reflex in check….

Okay then.

I have twins. They were #3 and #4 in our family. When they were born I also had a 9 year old & a 2 year old. Yes, I had 3 kids in 2 years.- Enough said.

I was tired.

We have a sunken family room that, when baby-gated off, was our play area. I laid on that floor and played with those little ones for hours and hours, days and days, years and wait…they did eventually grow up. Anyhow, because this was our play area (and I was tired) I also changed diapers right there - on a mat, thank you very much- hour after hour, day after day, year after….. Stay with me here I’m getting to it.

One day I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

It was small, it was round, it was very dark colored.

And then I started to talk to God

“It couldn’t be!”

“Are you kidding me right now?”

“Did I fail to notice a rolley?”

I was inching closer and closer.

“I think I just barfed a little in my mouth”

“Lord give me the strength”

Now, at eye level.

“for the love of God there is poop on my floor!”

“please no, please no”

I went in for the sniff.

“Hmmm….wait a minute

“It’s not!”

That’s when I picked it up, looked it over, and realized it was a RAISIN!

Great! All is right in the world!!

Then I popped that little thing right into my mouth and ate it.

I couldn’t tell you how long it had been there, or when we last had a snack of raisins.

I was tired I tell you.

Too tired to get up and put it on a shelf for later disposal, or Lord help me put it in the trash that very second.

Please don’t judge.